who needs to brush the cat,when you can just cat the brush
its been a stressful day hasn’t it. here watch a cat being helpful
CAT THE BRUSH
Taken from reddit but it can’t be stressed enough
Making fun of fat people at the gym is like making fun of sick people at the hospital.
"Lol wow you’re doing chemotherapy? Clearly you suck at it if you still have cancer."
You know that type of laughter that starts off as a small chuckle but kinda builds up inside your throat, eventually mounting into a full blown, bent over yourself, holding your stomach as you guffaw uproariously?
this should be a sculpture about the human condition entitled ‘Unbridled Optimism Meets An Uncaring Universe’
There are photos that tell a story, then there are photos that tell a story.
wait does this mean horn sensitivity is canon?
Game of Thrones Wedding Cake
oh yeah lets just have a game of thrones themed wedding
what can possibly go wrong?
*Rains of Castemere plays faintly in the distance*
In which Disney gives you incredibly wise relationship advice.
DID YOU KNOW THAT MOST SBURB SESSIONS FAIL
ok [LONG POST; APOLOGIES FOR PUTTING THIS ON YOUR LOVELY ART]
this made me wonder what happens to like
the players who go godtier in a dead session
because, like, they’re immortal, and with everyone else dead there is no way they CAN die, because suicide is neither heroic nor just, so they will simply continue to reincarnate forever
until they start to go insane from lack of human contact and anomie
and although sburb keeps them from dying, i imagine that there’s some sort of degeneration going on, maybe every time they die they come back slightly wrong in some way, their speech becomes garbled and they slowly start to look less and less human or whatever
the only voices left for them to hear are the whispers from the furthest ring
because with all of the time in the universe, even prospit dreamers visit Derse eventually, and as the incipisphere ages the boundaries between universes start to weaken
and it’s so hard not to just give up and accept the invitation, shuck off one’s mortal bonds and leave the session for good, sliding into the many-tentacled embrace of the horrorterrors as your body fully degenerates into madness and lines of code, no longer yourself anymore
just a whisper of what once was but is no longer human.
What if that’s where horrorterrors come from? The mutated god tiers from failed sessions.
ps im crying
This is terrifying
NOTE TEAM MISFAIL: WE ARE ALL TO GO GODTIER AND KEEP EACH OTHER SANE OK? OK.
NOTE TAKEN CAPTAIN’
Your name isn’t important. Nothing is anymore. After all, the clouds block out the heavenly light above and below you, leaving nothing but gray and red.
Gray and red and the cacophony of bleeding colors, the torn rags of your friends as they lie cold and lifeless, no more sentient then the ground you kneel upon. Locked forever in time, doomed to be nothing but dolls of the monster that created you all. They will never return to the soil, will never have the dignity of death, as the game that is not a game will not allow it. You never were religious, but you have prayed. Let there be a messiah, two, three, thousands of them. Let there be something, you think every time with hands clasped tightly before ramming another victim’s weapon into your chest.
Each time, you pray a little harder, stay a little shorter. You were a player, but the outfit you have fastened yourself from the clothes of the deceased leaves even you unsure of what kind. Perhaps time, as you can see hundreds of timelines, hundreds of death of hundreds of innocent lives. You sew your rags because after the fifth time you try to release yourself your robes do not regenerate. You sew yourself but the thread is missing and the fabric is missing and your brain is only just beginning to realize the meaning of eternity.
You play with your friends. A flick of their hair here, a halfhearted hand-holding there grows to hugs and empty sobs. A tango for one and a slow degeneration into the madness you welcome.
You lose track of the holes in your robes and in your soul. The tallies blur together. Names and dates and lives fade as the clouds shudder, the ground quaking and Skia itself weeping for the victory you will never see.
You cannot speak.
You fumble with whatever you can find, play card games that cannot be won against yourself. You try on their clothes and find they fit. You have shrunk. The coding decrees it. You shed your rags and gain new ones. You grow and cycle out the last choices of the dead. You can still hear the screams no matter how much you silently shriek for anything you can repent. Nothing obeys you.
You cannot see.
You thrive on touch and thought, but thought cannot be relied on. Puzzles and riddles have long since ceased to matter, and you wonder if you exist. A living thing reaches into your mind, twists it and molds it and you do not notice.
You cannot hear.
You find a sword after seconds and days and millennia of searching and stab the pain away again and again. There is nothing left to touch, nothing to maim, nothing to live for as there was nothing to live for in time long since lost. Your spirit is gone.
You do not exist.
You are one of many.
You are the Dead Souls that will never truly be free.
Eternity is but a breath in your lifespan, and your dearest wish is death. No one will give it to you.
There is no one left to.I’m sorry but I need to reblog this again
I’m reblogging this again in honor of 4/13 because it is still my absolute favorite writing I’ve ever done, even nearly a year later.
- clean bathroom tips
- organize your closet
- how to fix a leaky faucet
- how to keep a clean kitchen
- removing stains from your carpet
- how to coupon
- what to do when you can’t pay your bills
- see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill
- how to save money
- How to Balance a Check Book
- How to do Your Own Taxes
- how to take care of yourself when you’re sick
- things to bring to a doctor’s appointment
- what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment
- how to make a doctor’s appointment
- how to pick a health insurance plan
- a list of stress relievers
- how to get free therapy
- what to do if you get pulled over by a cop
- a list of hotlines in a crisis
- things to keep in your car in case of an emergency
- recipes that take 30 minutes or less
- Yummy apple thing
- Brownie in a cup
- Cookie in a cup
- French bread pizza
- Egg tacos
- panera mac n cheese recipe
- different salad recipes
- harry potter recipes
- healthy recipes
- various cookie recipes
- chocolate cupcakes w/ eggless cookie dough topping
- s’mores pie
- nutella hot chocolate
- peanut butter nutella swirl cookies
- cookie in a mug
- starbucks holiday drinks
- fruit leathers
- brownie in a mug
- how to make ramen 1000x better
- eggless cookie dough (not to bake, just to eat)
- make recipes using things you already have
- how to put together a very fancy cheese plate
- make different flavored lemonades
- various desert recipes
- make tiny chocolate chip cookies
- 20 dishes every cook should know
- learn how to make your own tea
- Macaroni and cheese in a mug
- Study snacks (2)
- 40 on-the-go breakfast recipes
- what the hell is a mortgage?
- first apartment essentials checklist
- how to care for cacti and succulents
- the care and keeping of plants
- Getting an apartment
- time management
- create a resume
- find the right career
- how to pick a major
- how to interview for a job
- How to write cover letters
- ULTIMATE PACKING LIST
- Traveling for Cheap
- Travel Accessories
- The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase
- How To Read A Map
- How to Apply For A Passport
- How to Make A Travel Budget
i figured out who keeps sending all the anon hate on here
do you ever get anxiety when thinking about how you’re not really living your life that you just go to school and eat and sleep and do homework and then after that you’re gonna get a job and you’ll work the rest of your life maybe marry and have kids and then you die and you haven’t even lived at all i can’t breathe
I’m so glad someone feels the same way